Dear Me at 3 am: An Open Letter for Sleep-Deprived Mothers

Dear me at 3am, 

First of all, I know where you are. I know you haven't felt rested in what feels like years. I know this is the 5th time you've put the baby down tonight and he's teething on you as he nurses. Ouch. I know you eat most meals standing up, and if you manage to sit you're probably feeding a baby at the same time and trying not to drop food on him in the process - all while trying to make sure your oldest doesn't feel ignored and knows how much he is loved. I know it feels like your children are abnormal in their ability to survive without sleep, and if one more website says the baby should be taking multiple 2-hour naps, you may need to replace your phone (plus whatever it hits when you throw it). I know you have exhausted yourself meeting the needs of those around you and you could really use a nap, a hug, a glass of wine, and a cookie.

But here's what you need to keep in mind ...

4 Truths to Remember When Facing Infertility

For those of you who have not read Great is Thy Faithfulness: A Story of Waiting on God, Hubs and I dealt with unexplained infertility when we were trying to conceive Z. It was potentially the most heartbreaking season of my life.  Infertility sucks, and I wish that no one ever had to experience it - but if you are facing infertility, here are 4 truths that it may help to bear in mind.

Why "God Won't Give You More Than You Can Handle" is a Lie

Several years ago, I hit rock bottom.  One thing after another was taken away from me and I tried - I tried so hard to be strong through it all.  I took it upon myself to be "the strong one".  I felt like I needed to be a rock for everyone else who was being affected by everything that was happening.

Eventually, the load became to much for me to bear on my own and I broke. I felt weak... I felt like a failure... and for some reason, I handled my grief and anger by not eating.  It wasn't that I wanted to be skinnier; it was half self-punishment and half numbness.

God was allowing it all to happen, and yet it was more than I could handle.